so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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