Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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