so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
