Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
