you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize