i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
