You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
COCAINE IS GR8
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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