Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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