Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
