Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
