Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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