You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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