Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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