I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
