The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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