i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
