am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
kristin has been a bad kristin
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
