Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
