i used baking grease as lip gloss
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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