Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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