Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
