marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
