Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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