The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize