I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
