'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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