So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Randomize
