Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
