I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
