bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
