I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
