suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
