Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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