You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
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I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize