Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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