If i come over, it means nothing
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
as a side note pls kill me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
