May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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