Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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