thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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