And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
