we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
