Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize