on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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