Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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