Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We don't watch enough power rangers
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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