Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
