All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
