gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
