I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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