yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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