im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Boobs are out for the taking
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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