It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize