I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
