i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
