How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
