holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
