i was born a porn star she said
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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